A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she
wants to open a savings account. The accountsperson asks her how much she would like to
deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million
dollars." The accounts person is startled, and says, "In what form?" and
the little old lady says, "Cash. I've got it here inthis bag..." and the
accounts person looks and, sure enough, the lady hasa big grocery bag just chock full of
green stuff with big denominations.
This is a highly unusual event, and the accountsperson excuses herself
to get the president of the bank to handle this one. He arrives, and escorts the little
old lady to his office to handle it personally. Once in his office, he asks the little old
lady where she got so much money. She says, "Gambling." "Gambling?",
he says. "What sort of gambling?" "Oh, I make bets with people on all sorts
of things,and I usually win. For example, I've got $100,000 right here thatsays that by
noon tomorrow your balls will be square, and I'll even give you 4:1 odds. You got $25,000
you'd be willing to wager on that?"
The bank president is shocked at this sort of thing coming from a sweet
lilttle old lady, but he didn't get to be the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank
without knowing something about money. "I suppose I could come up with enough to
cover that sort of wager, but I wouldn't feel right taking it from you...there's noway you
can win a bet like that!" The little old lady just shook the bag, and said,
"Iknow what I'm doing...and I can afford to lose, though I'm not going to. Is it a
bet?" "Ok, have it your way", said the president, and they shook hands on
it. "See you at 11:55 tomorrow morning", said the littleold lady, and with that
she left.
Next morning at 11:55 the little old lady arrives with a younger man in
a three-piece suit, and is escorted to the bank president's office. The president is a
nervous wreck, though a happy one. He'd gotten almost no sleep the night before, waking
every few minutes to feel balls to check for impending squareness, but nothing happened
all night. He had checked hundreds of times that morning, but still nothing; perfectly
normal.
When the little old lady arrived he started to relax, knowing he had
won. "Come in, please have a seat! Who might this gentleman be?" said the
president. "He's my lawyer. For a bet of this size I want to have a witness. Any
objections?" "No, perfectly understandable", said the president.
"Well, it's now noon, and I'm still unchanged, so I guess I win!" he said
happily.
"Not so fast!" said the little old lady. "For a hundred
grand I want to verify things personally! Please drop your pants." The bank president
is a bit flustered, but agrees that in her position he'd want proof as well, so he drops
his pants. The little old lady goes over to him and reaches out to feel the organs in
question. "Ok, you win, here's your $100,000," says the littleold lady, handing
over a bag of bills.
As she does so, her lawyer starts banging his head against the wall and
moaning. "What's wrong with him?" asks the bank president. "Oh, he's just
upset. Poor loser if you ask me. You see, I had a bet for $1,000,000 with him that I would
have the President of the Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls by noon today." |
