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"The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary'"
Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say ¡§Happy Birthday,¡¨ and probably have a present for me.

She didn't even say ¡§Good Morning,¡¨ alone any ¡§Happy Birthday.¡¨ I thought, ¡§Well, that's wives for you. Maybe the children will remember.¡¨

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, ¡§Good morning boss, Happy Birthday.¡¨ And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said, ¡§You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me.¡¨ I said, ¡§By George, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go.¡¨

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, ¡§You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?¡¨ I said, ¡§No, I guess not.¡¨ She said, ¡§Let's go to my apartment.¡¨ After arriving at her apartment she said, ¡§Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.¡¨

¡§Sure,¡¨ I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends. All were singing ¡§Happy Birthday¡¨ and there on the couch I sat... naked.